Denial is saying something hasn’t happened or pretending the situation isn’t as bad as it really is. It allows victims to ignore painful aspects of reality. It allows abusers to continue abusing. It is a coping mechanism, for victims, allowing them to continue living without accepting that anything is wrong.
In denial… both the abusers and the victims are lying to themselves and to others.
The Lies of Denial
The victim deserves whatever abuse he receives.
Victims provoke their abusers.
Battered men are masochistic.
Abuse doesn’t happen to nice people.
It could never happen to me.
The Reactions from Victims
Deny or minimize the abuse.
Constantly blame themselves.
Have very low self esteem, which makes them even more vulnerable to their abusers.
Have unexplained physical injuries, or the explanation seems implausible.
Show symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Display decreased concentration or sleeplessness and fatigue.
Burn themselves out trying to please the needs of his spouse or family, while neglecting his needs.
Cling to the promise that their abusers will change.
Believe that if they stay long enough, they will be able to rescue the situation.
See themselves as husbands and fathers who should be nurturing and forgiving of their partner.