CHAPTER 9

24th AUGUST 2011 A week of More Emotional Abuse

 

August 24, 2011 EMEY AND MYSELF WERE NOT TALKING, SHE WAS SLEEPING IN THE MARITAL BEDROOM AND I WAS SLEEPING DOWNSTAIRS IN THE FRONTROOM ON THE SETTEE. NOTE THE TIME OF 1.31AM

1:31am Emey- i wish u coud understand me

1:33am AnthonySharmone Anthony   –   so do i]#

1:37am Emey –  dont want you sleeping downstairs,just hurting and trying to push you away so u cant hurt me anymore however it just makes it worse

1:39am AnthonySharmone Anthony- if by me being me is hurting u then what can i say other than im staying right where i am

1:47am Emey-as i said earlier,iv tried to explain wat i think might be the route of the issue,iv asked and asked for ressurance from you over and over again and i understand and will have to accept that im not going to get that

1:51am AnthonySharmone Anthony-and i have to accept that every time i go out its gonna be a fucking headache

1:58am Emey- i dont mean this to come accross sarcastically bu please would you look at what the meaning of reassure is because i dont think you understand where im comng from

2:06am   Emey send me this email

eassure , definition of reassure , meaning of reassure – 1 ( verb ) reassure, assure          cause to feel sure; give reassurance to   “The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe”       2 ( verb ) reassure         give or restore confidence in; cause to feel sure or certain    “I reassured him that we were safe”           1 ( verb ) reassure   to assure anew; to restore confidence to; to free from fear or terror   2 ( verb ) reassure to reinsure       Verb1 . reassure – cause to feel sure; give reassurance to; “The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe”assurecalm, still, tranquilize, tranquillise, tranquillize, calm down, quiet, quieten, lull – make calm or still; “quiet the dragons of worry and fear”vex, worry – disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress; “I cannot sleep–my daughter’s health is worrying me” 2 . reassure – give or restore confidence in; cause to feel sure or certain; “I reassured him that we were safe”assure – assure somebody of the truth of something with the intention of giving the listener confidence; “I assured him that traveling to Cambodia was safe”

reassureverb encourage, comfort, bolster, hearten, cheer up, buoy up, gee up, restore confidence to, inspirit, relieve ( someone ) of anxiety, put or set your mind at rest She just reassured me and told me that everything was fine .

2:11am Emey- Anthonycan you not see that by trying to reassure me you dont have to give up being who you are?

2:14am  AnthonySharmone Anthony- i dont get u at all by me going to met a male friend without u what the fuck have i got to reassure u about going 2 sleep

2:57am Emey- this isnt about you going out Anthony,this is about me not feeling iinportant enough to you and iv asked for your help by reasuring me that i am, read the above Anthonyits all there in black and white,relieve(someone)of anxiety,put or set your mind at rest,he just reassured me and told me everything is fine,assure someone of the truth of something(for example i said you might be happier without me still waiting to be reassured that isnt true??) with the intention of giving the listener confidence,look at the bigger picture please,i dont have a problem with you going out simple words of communication to reassure me that i am important to you simple ways of showing or saying how much i really do mean to you,and i dont mean update your status i mean tell me 1 to 1 to my face,on a peice of paper,in a text,in an email,in box me,write it on a mirror i really dont care Anthonybut i really want and need to be told.

we can do this please think bout what im asking please xxx

Emey continuing to Text me while I was at work:

Received  + Emey-24 Aug 2011 -10:33:29 Can you write down what you said to me on the phone when you were at Thorpe park please,its hurting me that you don’t want to tell me how you feel bout me which would really help right now x

Received  + Emey- 24 Aug 2011 10:43:10 Im asking for your help to sort myself out,and if that’s not possible then you will loose me,Angel and our family unit

Sent  +Anthony -24 Aug 2011 11:03:00 This is what does my head in if I loose Angel that’s down to u and I can live with that I can’t help u if u r being the way u r I don’t understand your random mood swings reasieance my arse cuddles my arse love my arse to me its deeper than that its u that’s fucking everything up and that’s a fact. Loving u is not enough being with u is not enough taking care of Angel is not enough but o won’t let u fuck with my head

Sent +Anthony 24 Aug 2011 11:04:47 -I’ll help u as much as I can but my help is not enough on yore book

Received  + Emey-24 Aug 2011 11:39:58 Exactly how have you helped me,i have asked you to tell me how you feel about me,i have asked you to tell me how important i am to you,i have asked you to tell me and what is really sad is that you can’t see how important it is to us our marriage our life together

Received  + Emey-24 Aug 2011 11:52:27 It won’t be all my fault because it takes 2people to sort an issue in a relationship out it all depends how committed each person is in the relationship and what they are willing to do and ask for to make it work

Sent  +Anthony -24 Aug 2011 11:55:03 Right now I’m pissed off with u can u not see that you keep going about allyou have asked is this that and the other and I’ve done non of what u have asked. Well I disagree but u know best . Right now at this exact time I love u I’m in love with you but I don’t like u. I don’t like the way I r right now. Your hurting me and I dont like it I’m angry with u cos ofwhat u are doing to me and Angel your daughter remember her remember the shit age went through from your last two relationships well keep pushing me away from u and she will be in rge same shit she was in before if u want my help then back offand stop suffercating me 

Sent  +Anthony -24 Aug 2011 12:27:34 Thanks just had a blazing row with the boss cos I’m fucking pissed off now I’ve offended everyone at work

Received  +Emey-24 Aug 2011 13:11:20 I suppose that’s all my fault 2

Sent  +Anthony- 24 Aug 2011 13:12:04 Yes

Received  +Emey-24 Aug 2011 13:17:10 Anthonyits not my fault ,i haven’t fallen out with my work colleges they no Im troubled at the moment and that im doing my best to get through the day,Im not blaming you for how i feel 2day

Sent  +Anthony -24 Aug 2011 14:01:34 Well lucky u

Received  + Emey- 24 Aug 2011 14:55:24 I will be home later as Dee has come in shop and going to talk 2 her bout my problem as you call it

Sent  +Anthony- 24 Aug 2011 15:01:03 Who is Dee

Received  + Emey-24 Aug 2011 16:43:55 My boss

25th AUGUST 2011

Sent  +Anthony -25 Aug 2011 09:25:59 I do love you so very much but unless you accept that you have a problem within your securities and in about trying to sort it our we are finished I have supported you since day1 with everything but your continued verbal attacks towards me is not helping that why I said last night that we need a break to calm things down but you just attacked me again forcing me to back away even more I don’t want us to separate but your leaving me with very little choice I want to help and support u but I can’t if you keep being so negative towards me continuously

Received  +Emey-25 Aug 2011 12:24:12 Our marriageis in trouble and i can’t fix it on my own,do you have reverend Jane number as Im going to go and speak her about our marriage

Sent  +Anthony- 25 Aug 2011 12:26:22 I don’t want you speaking to my pastor  thank-you about my private business you don’t see her in church I do .no too close to home

Received  +Emey- 25 Aug 2011 12:27:56 As you keep saying to me it is my problem so i will do what i have to to help myself

Sent  +Anthony -25 Aug 2011 12:29:29 Yes but find someone impartial I don’t want people I know knowing my business thank-you

Sent  +Anthony -25 Aug 2011 12:36:34 COrrecting you don’t have to do it ALL no your own but a lot of what is happening inside your head you need someone with professionalism and who is trained and impartial which is not me or my family or friends and the same goes for me

Received  +Emey- 25 Aug 2011 12:36:36 And if i do its going to be over yes?

Sent  +Anthony -25 Aug 2011 12:38:20 I can’t stop you from doing anything

Received  +Emey- 25 Aug 2011 13:13:47 Hopefully relate will help but alot depends on you as you didn’t like it when the lady said that it was about you as well

26TH AUGUST 2012

Received  + Emey-26 Aug 2011 10:23:55 Am i included in your mum party on Sunday, and is J still staying Sunday night?

Received  + Emey- 26 Aug 2011 10:27:32 Can you have Angel next Tuesday evening please?

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 11:25:43 I feel that u r doing what u do best shut off and only communicate with me if u have to. Me on the other hand just don’t want to argue with u and don’t want the continued insults that I have had over the last few days and want things to calm down. I don’t have a problem communicating with you. Last night u didn’t tell me u were going to be late even when I text u to say where Angel was other than has she eaten. TOday I ask u and xots reply is why. Why cos I’m caring 4 Angel that why. YOu’ve got anger inside I have not which is a problem for us to communicate

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 11:33:02 REgarding my mums party I dent know that YOur choice depends no how u r going to be towards me and yes I’m still got J. Why do you want me to have Angel on Tuesday. C I don’t support u or show you that I care but I take care of Angel everyday more than you do but that don’t mean nothing. By having Angel is helping and supporting you. LEtting you work and do what you want to do. But yes I can have Angel on Tuesday

Received  +Emey- 26 Aug 2011 11:52:34 I am grateful for you taking care of Angel,Im talking about emotional support

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 11:59:52 Emotionally I have supported u regards Smurfet, social services, your Les, your mum ,step dad,Clint,Angel, but I’m not superman but when u attack me I can’t support you cos your hurting me

Received  +Emey-26 Aug 2011 12:05:59 Im talking about emotional support from a husband to a wife

Received  +Emey- 26 Aug 2011 12:07:51 Lester at work is goin into hospital on Wednesday so that’s why i asked if you could have Angel as we are goin to have something to eat on Tuesday eve

Received  +Emey-26 Aug 2011 12:10:32 Im not angry with you i del very sad,Anthonyyou have told me you want a break and to be left alone and that is exactly what i have done,its not just how i am goin to be with you its also how you are goin to be with me,Im only responsible for my behaviour i can’t be held responsible for yours

Received  +Emey- 26 Aug 2011 12:16:00 How have i insulted you

Sent  +Anthony- 26 Aug 2011 12:17:20 Yer your right but your insecuritIes and deep routed problems were not disclosed to me in a way that I understood and had time to get my head round and instead over the last few months you have emotionally pushed me further away by trying to change me and restricting the one thing that I thought long and to get back. Me

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 12:27:41 1. I want be near you 2. Don’t be long before you HAve an affair And so on. A lot of what has come out of your mouth lately has been really hurtful offensive not true and upsetting. PIcturing me as some cold hearted self caring evil man and Im not I know in not. And thats why I said we needed a break cos I was drained from all the negative stuff you kept. Throwing at me constantly. MY mouth can be vile I know but all I have tried to do is keep calm and stick tothe factS

Received  +Emey- 26 Aug 2011 12:50:44 Anthonyyou wouldn’t cuddle me because you were angry with me and your not wearing your wedding ring,just keep getting mixed messages from you

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 13:07:42 YEs the other night you were on my case then want a cuddle in the morning without an apology or anything .I came home and I said I just wanted peace but you again started on me again forcing me into a corner via s why I took my ring off to tell you enough

Received  +Emey- 26 Aug 2011 13:12:11 I came to give you a cuddle as a peace offering and by showing affection.and you chose not to precipitate

Received  + Emey-26 Aug 2011 13:22:59 By taking your wedding ring off says to me that you don’t want 2 be with me and that its over and you don’t love me

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 13:52:47 Yes at that point cos you pushed me too far at that time

Received  +Emey-26 Aug 2011 15:56:26 Yesterday i didn’t get your message bout Angel as phone was on silent,drove past house and your car wasn’t their so i decided to in on a sunbed,checked my phone before i went on sunbed and say your message,that’s why i asked if Angel had eaten,Texed Glen to say i would be later and that if was cooking so we both ended up Eating their

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 16:32:13 Exactly u drove past house saw on car then went off to do what you wanted to do without letting me know which is fine by me I go out and its a nightmare its ok 4 u when u want to 2 go out where ever but as soon as I do its o I dont. CAre about u I need more friends etc etc and this is also my point u on Facebook ok u watch a film ok u go out ok I do these things problem

Received  +Emey-26 Aug 2011 17:38:04 I was 35mins from when i past house to when i got my Angel,my point with regard to Facebook is that we do not spend any quality time together without Tele, phone and computer and the fact is your more on Facebook than me, someone out of the blue emails you and off you go. Without any thought given to what we have been through the last few days and weeks,its the lack of consideration to us but hey as long as Anthonyis doing what he wants sod the rest of us

Received  +Emey-26 Aug 2011 17:44:57 There doesn’t seen to be any room for compromise on your part

Received  +Emey- 26 Aug 2011 17:52:05 In not trying to attack you just saying it from my point of view

Received  +Emey- 26 Aug 2011 22:37:43 Im not shuting off,just avoiding any conflict for both of us,even tho its not great between us still love you much much x

Sent  +Anthony -26 Aug 2011 22:39:17 Well that’s good to hear love u 2 x

27th August 2011

Received  +Emey-27 Aug 2011 19:19:59 Im ok thank you,spent best past of afternoon with Lin over the road talking bout pamper chef which was interesting and something i may consider what do you think?,might pop over to Kris the massage lady later with Angel for a few hours but feeling tired,how’s the wedding?x

IT WAS OK FOR NOW ESTRANGED WIFE TO DO OR THINK ABOUT PAMPERED CHEF BUT WHEN I MENTIONED ABOUT DOING IT IN JANUARY OF 2012, EMEY WOULD NOT NET ME DO IT, STATING THAT IF I DID OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER !

Received  +Emey-27 Aug 2011 19:57:22 How are you?

Sent  +Anthony- 27 Aug 2011 20:00:06 I good thank u I think we should start to re build our circle of life x

Received  + Emey- 27 Aug 2011 20:01:45 Ok sounds good x

Received  + Emey- 27 Aug 2011 20:09:37 Kris is going to come and pick us up so we can share a bottle of wine x

Received  + Emey-27 Aug 2011 20:14:51 Will do thank u kpd x

28TH AUGUST 2011

Sent  +Anthony -28 Aug 2011 00:52:37 Do you want picking up

EMEY WAS DRUNK WITH ANGEL, I HAD TO GO AND PICK HER UP ATER GETTING IN FROM 6 HOURS OF DJ-ING AT 1AM

Received  +Emey-28 Aug 2011 00:56:48 What time you finishing?only had2 glasses of bubble just feel sick have been sick 2 Angel is cool with Liz sorry

Sent  +Anthony -28 Aug 2011 00:58:04 Be there in 5 I’m already at home

Received  +Emey-28 Aug 2011 00:58:48 Bless you thank you sorry x x

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