19th March 2013 – MY PUBLIC STATEMENT
Firstly I want to publicly apologise to my estranged wife for what happened on the 18th December 2012.
I also want to apologise to my children for all the upset and suffering that they have endured for the last 3 months. I also wish to apologise to my step- daughters for any upset that I have caused them. I wish to apologise to my family and friends also especially to my father in law who I have the utmost respect for.
I make no excuse for my actions but you need to know the truth. What has been written about me in the papers and online is not totally accurate. Domestic Violence is wrong on both sides’ men and women but before people pre judge me hear me out then judge me.
I am NO wife beater; yes my estranged wife and I had a very heated and uncomfortable argument. Yes my estranged wife sustained a bruise on her arm. BUT as God is my witness I NEVER physically hit or beat my estranged with my fist, my feet or with an instrument. Yes I did as I was extremely upset with the way my estranged wife had treated me knock a clothes airier over which struck her on her arm, but I NEVER hit or beat her. The CCTV evidence also shows and confirms that I did NOT pick up and throw a foot stool at my estranged wife but yes I did throw the clothes airier away from my wife. I take no pleasure in what I did and feel that I have let myself down as I am not a violent man and I’d sooner cut off my hands than lay a finger on another person male or female. However we as humans all have a weak point, we all suffer pain upset and hurt. We all get angry for whatever reason and we all lash out in our own way. Yes I did throw some items but I’d sooner do that than hit a human even though still not good.
For 18 months I a MAN suffered in silence. I as a MAN suffered emotional abuse from my estranged wife. As a man who do you tell, who would believe you, Emotional abuse is hard to prove unlike physical abuse which is visible, Emotional abuse is internal. But still is damaging and hurtful all the same. I suffered in so many ways BUT alone. To the outside world I’m the sharmone master, I’m the bubbly chap who always seems to have a smile on his face, who always seems to be having a good time and living his life to the full. This was my way of coping with the emotional abuse I was enduring regularly. I loved my estranged wife, I love my step daughters and my sons so before you say why stay, why didn’t you just leave, life sometimes is not that simple. MEN who are abused whether it is physically or emotionally are simply not taken seriously and I was no different, You type in domestic violence on the internet and it always comes up women being abused, not men, where are the men’s refuges, there is only one in the whole of the UK, So yes I put up with it but in reality it was eating away at me internally. Again I make no excuse for my negative actions in December other than after 18 months of being put down, verbally abused, dictated to, constantly having to justify my every move, being isolated, ignored, falsely accused of things I had not done, breaking down my self esteem and self worth finally took its toll on me I’m no angle, I have my moments, I can be stroppy, argumentative, a pain in the back side at times, but I respect people, I respected my wife but I was suffocated by my estranged wife, I loved my estranged wife but she was draining the life out of me and what happened that night was not me, it was not what I’m about, it was not the person I am. Yes I did what I did and I am accountable for my actions to which I hold my hand up, but I’m not solely responsible for what happened. I am in no way trying to wriggle out of what I did and to this day feel ashamed, upset and know that I will never forget what happened till the day I die. But it takes two to start an argument and I’m NO WIFE BEATER… What happened on 18th December 2012 was an isolated incident. This was the first and only time that our level of argument to that stage. I have NEVER hit, struck, punched, kicked my wife before or thrown any instrument at her before. If I was a wife beater, which I am not, why would I have CCTV installed in my house?
The press need to write the truth.
I pleaded guilty to common assault by beating, I was not found guilty of BEATING my estranged wife. The bold headline from the CRaydon Advertiser in January 2013 “JACKO TRIBUTE ACT BEAT HIS WIFE” was so damaging to me, my children, my family, friends and colleagues. I have had people spit at me in the street, I have had horrible messages sent to me, lost so called friends, I have lost work because of this, I have lost my matrimonial home and personal belongings, I have not seen my step daughter for 3 months. I feel that I have been persecuted for the last 3 months in so many ways it’s hurtful to say. The courts and only the courts should be the one to punish me in whatever way they see fit. Not the Press, Not the Media and not society i.e. you.