Suffer In Silence

don't suffer alone….

CHAPTER 1-The first signs


The emotional and mental abuse really started in March 2010. Emey had befriended a friend of mine called Sandra and immediately took a dislike to her, she was convinced she fancied me and we would have disagreements about it.


I have known Sandra and her family for more than 15 years ad we were good friends. On one occasion I saw Sandra nnear her home and offered to give her a lift home. Emey and Sandra were friends on Facebook and they would both post messages on the Facebook Wall. Sandra posted a message on Facebook stating that I gave her a lift home, to which Emey saw and this caused yet another argument as my partner became so paranoid that she thought happy was doing this to annoy and wind her up. No matter how many times I told Emey that there was nothing in it Emey would not have none of it and put pressure on me to stop being friends with her to which I did not agree with. I suggested to Emey not to be friends with her but Emey was convinced still that she fancied me and that I was not to give her a lift in my car again or else there would be consequences.


Whenever I was to go out socialising Emey insisted that she came with me, if I ever went out with male mates, Emey would always ask “is it only men going or can women come” which made it awkward for me as I had to let her come, even if it was just a lads night out and there would be times where she was the only female with us. The few times I was allowed to go out with males I would get all kinds of questions when I got in like were there women there, did I dance with them, what were the other men doing. It got to the point that I would not go out with my male mates so that there would be no argument and I would make up excuses to my mates that I was busy


On one occasion Emey and myself were at a club in Gypsy Hill with my cousins enjoying the dance atmosphere, when a woman came up to me and politely asked me to dance, I told her that I was married and declined her request, she then walked away. Emey immediately asked me what did she want I said “she asked for the time” as a sort of joke to which this caused another argument as Emey said that I should have came and told her straight away what the lady said. The fact that there was nothing to say as I dealt with it in a heartbeat was not good enough of.


After we got married my Emey insecurities got worse as she stated to me that I was all hers now. Emey for whatever reason would constantly feel threatened if I was around other women regardless of the reason. This was putting a damper on our marriage and the questions and demands Emey was putting pressure on me and was stressing me out to the point that I was constantly having to justify my actions and whereabouts and would constantly have to tell Emey what I was doing and that I was not doing anything with another female and that she was the only person I wanted to be with, constantly but Emey would still give me the third degree.


The emotional pressure that I was being put under was making me very unhappy and the constant bickering and rowing between us didn’t help. I suggested several times that Emey should go out and meet new friends but my wife took this as I didn’t care about her. Emey didn’t have any friends outside of work and said to me that her work colleagues are her friends and did not want to have anymore. I said that we all need to have times when we are together and times when we are apart but again Emey took it personally and negatively. When I met Emey I introduced her to all my family and most of my friends (male & female)


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