Understanding why men stay in abusive relationships or remain silent… Do any of these questions sound familiar? “Why don’t you leave if it’s that bad?” or “How can you let this happen?” or “If I was you I wouldn’t put up with that.” or how about the king of asinine questions… ” Why don’t you just kick her out? ”
By asking those questions or making those statements, friends and family members are re-victimizing us. Not having been abused, they have absolutely no idea what it’s like to feel totally worthless and ashamed.
Their self-esteem has not been stomped into the floor. They have not been clawed, stabbed, slapped, punched, kicked in the groin, humiliated and degraded. They do not understand how the whole process of abuse gradually deteriorates soul and self… piece by piece.
Only those of us who are being abused can understand why we’ve stayed. We have a million reasons why we can’t stay and million reasons why we can’t leave.