Many battered men, having been systematically abused by their partners, perceive that there is no way out of their relationship.
They fear that if they leave their children behind… she may abuse them. Abused men with Battered Men’s Syndrome feel trapped, helpless and, very often, they also feel guilty.
1] Denial: The man refuses to admit – even to himself – that he has been beaten or that there is a ” problem ” in his marriage. He may call each incident an ” accident “. He offers excuses for his partner’s violence and each time firmly believes it will never happen again.
2] Guilt: He now acknowledges there is a problem, but considers himself responsible for it. He ” deserves ” to be beaten or treated badly, he feels, because he has defects in his character and is not living up to his partner’s expectations.
3] Enlightenment: The man no longer assumes responsibility for his partner’s abusive treatment, recognizing that no one ” deserves ” to be beaten. He is still committed to his relationship, though, and stays with his partner, hoping they can work things out.
4] Responsibility: Accepting the fact that his partner will not, or cannot, stop their violent behavior, the battered man decides he will no longer submit to it and starts a new life.